A Mother from Ciudad Juarez: Transforming Grief to Action

When I sat down with Rocio Gonzalez, I was taken in immediately by her beautiful dark eyes, her warm smile, and her gentle hand on my arm. But even before I could say hello, I began to fall apart.   She had experienced what no parent should ever experience. She had lost her child, her son.  And all I could think of was the overpowering depth of sadness I would feel if I had lost my own son, who is only a few years older than hers.

“Pete had been camping with a friend in the forest,” Rocio started.  “He called me on the phone on the way home, saying, ‘Ma, people are following us, they are shooting at us. Ma, I love you, I love my family, don’t forget that.’” And then there was silence. Pete, a longtime member of the Scouts, was 21 when he was murdered on May 23, 2010. I felt myself near tears, but Rocio was already moving on in her story.  “He put his fear and anxiety away, and instead sent me a message of love. He was telling me, leave your sadness and fear and do something positive; and act out of love.” 

And that is what this remarkable mother has been doing ever since. Rocio has joined forces with Maria Carreon, who has a strong background in organizational development, to launch a new community group called Sembradores de Paz (“Sowers of Peace”). Maria’s son and Pete were good friends since childhood. And now, together, these two courageous mothers have thrown themselves into their work to reach out to the city’s poorest communities and the most aggrieved families with a message of empowerment and hope. “Maria is the brains behind this,” says Rocio with a smile.

The message of the new organization is simple:  Don’t be victims and blame others and take responsibility for your actions. “The troubles we are facing now are from seeds we planted in the past - the seeds of indifference and apathy,” says Rocio.  “I used to care only about my own children, not others. We need to plant new seeds so that we take care of everyone’s sons and daughters, so that a new city can grow up around us.”  

In addition to working with other parents who have lost children or other family members to violence, the organization is empowering citizens in the city’s most underserved neighborhood. Specifically, Sembradores de Paz is helping community members to demand better schools as well as improved health care services and security. They are also working to develop safe activities for the youth to participate in, such as arts, theater and dance. 

“We know this is very ambitious,” says co-founder Maria, acknowledging the many challenges ahead.  “But this is the most beautiful part – we’ve thrown ourselves into the river; now we have to learn to swim.” And not surprisingly, these two remarkable mothers have already recruited over 200 others to help transform their city - and each other,  to literally swim against the tide of violence, strengthened by the power of love.